


Pranking a Templar is a Bad Idea

by EradiKate



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 19:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16455728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EradiKate/pseuds/EradiKate
Summary: Alistair wants to liven up Kinloch Hold a little.  Elissa has a plan.





	Pranking a Templar is a Bad Idea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnnoraRutherford](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnoraRutherford/gifts).



“Pff, you call that sneaking?”  Alistair snickered as he watched Elissa try to hide between shelves in the Circle library.  “Even Shale could do better, and she’s made of stone.”

 

“Fine, then.  Why don’t you do the sneaking and hiding part, if you’re so knowledgeable?”  Elissa wriggled herself free of her little nook and stuck her tongue out. “I’ll stay out here, keep watch, and read.  Nobody would believe it if they saw you with a book in hand, anyway.” She dodged Alistair’s playful swat and danced out of his reach before he could try again.

 

Kinloch Hold was much more peaceful than it had been on their first visit.  Almost too peaceful, as Alistair said. So they’d put their heads together and decided it was time for a little harmless fun of the ‘jump and scare’ variety.  It was nearly time for the guard to change, and Elissa had learned that a certain curly-haired Templar enjoyed a quiet half hour in the library before retiring to the barracks.

 

Knowing that Alistair, though he had professed his feelings for her, had a slight fancy for Cullen made her want to burst into giggles.  Elissa wasn’t above having a little fun now and again, and snickered to herself, because while she knew they were pranking Cullen, Alistair just thought they were pulling a generic joke.  Wouldn’t the both of them be surprised?

 

“Alistair?” she called quietly.  “How’s it going in the bookcase?”

 

“I’m quite comfortable, thank you,” came the somewhat muffled reply.  “I might even take a nap while we wait. Remember the signal?”

 

“Yes, yes.  I’ll whistle a verse of ‘Andraste’s Mabari’ when someone’s coming.”

 

“I’ll just listen for whistling, then.”  Even through the books, the mockery in Alistair’s voice came through clearly.  “Everyone knows you can’t carry a tune.”

 

“Well, waiting for a whistle is one of your strong suits,” Elissa returned, stung.  “Seeing as you were raised in the kennels and all.”

 

“You win this round, Elissa.”

 

“Call it payback for last night around the fire.  Now we should be quiet, or we’ll give ourselves away.”  She settled herself at one of the tables with a book plucked more or less randomly from the shelf.  

 

The minutes ticked by slowly, and Elissa found herself wishing she’d either put more care into her choice of book or checked the time of the guard rotation again.  Well, she reasoned, even if Cullen doesn’t come by, someone’s bound to turn up eventually. It may not be as fun, but it will still be a laugh.

 

Laughs had been hard to come by, recently.  After Ostagar, the Deep Roads, and the awful events at Redcliffe, nobody was feeling particularly cheerful.  Elissa wanted to bolster her companions’ morale, and this was a start.

 

A creaking floorboard announced someone’s arrival.  She glanced up quickly, fighting a smile when she saw that it was indeed Cullen Rutherford, come to spend a quiet spell after his watch.  He nodded to her before he picked up a heavy book bound in brown leather and began to cross the room toward the more comfortable chairs near the windows.  When Elissa judged the timing to be correct, she whistled the opening few notes of ‘Andraste’s Mabari,’ at which Cullen turned back toward her, annoyance clear on his handsome face.

 

But before he could express his distaste, Alistair sprang out behind him with a loud shout of “BOO!”

 

Cullen’s annoyance quickly gave way to surprise, and then calm focus.  Elissa had hardly opened her mouth to laugh when he spun on the spot. What happened next took barely a breath.

 

Alistair’s face was lit up in mirth, his arms aloft and waving wildly, clearly enjoying the joke.  Cullen, however, raised the book he’d been carrying and brought it down on Alistair’s head with a dull thunk in a single, fluid strike.  Alistair fell backward, stunned, and Elissa’s giggle became a gasp of surprise, which morphed into a choke.

 

“Maker’s breath!”  Cullen dropped the book, which landed with a thud only slightly softer than its impact on Alistair’s head.  “What was--why did--are you two insane?!” 

 

“Are you?”  Alistair sputtered from his seat on the floor.  “Who reacts to a simple ‘boo’ that way?”

 

“Who shouts ‘boo’ in a library?”  The templar glared down from his impressive height.  “I’m in here because it’s supposed to be peaceful!”

 

“That’s why it’s--oh, never mind,” Alistair grumbled.  “Andraste’s flaming sword, I can’t believe I’m trying to explain a joke to a templar.”

 

Elissa saw Cullen’s eyes narrow and hurried to place herself between them before any further head-bashing could happen.  “Gentlemen! I’m sorry, Cullen, it was only meant as a simple joke. Alistair, are you all right?”

 

He gingerly touched his fingers to his head and winced.  “Just a bump on the old noggin. We’re lucky my skull is so thick.  Be a bit sore for a day or two, but nothing to worry about.”

 

Cullen, meanwhile, seemed to deflate.  “I apologize. I’ve been a bit jumpy since you were here last.”

 

“Of course you were,” Alistair mumbled.  “Come on, help me up. We can go try this on Morrigan.  Or Zevran. Or someone else less likely to react with violence.”

 

“Let me make sure I didn’t hurt you too seriously,” Cullen said, extending a hand.  “I’d feel very badly if I didn’t try to make some reparation.”

 

Elissa was pleased to see Alistair’s ears turn faintly pink at the suggestion, but he brushed off the slight embarrassment with ease.  “Oh, if you insist. Perhaps you could kiss it better?” Her heart almost stopped and it was only with difficulty that she managed to keep from shouting in glee.

 

“Oh!  Oh, my.”  It was Cullen’s turn to blush, although he skipped over the delicate pink Alistair sported and instead went straight to a deep beet red.  “Excuse my saying so, but I’d assumed that your fellow Warden would be the one to do that. Not that I find the idea objectionable or anything!”

 

“What do you say, Elissa?”  Alistair winked at her. “If I know you at all, you planned this from the beginning.  ‘We’ll just spook whoever happens to pass through,’ my foot.”

 

“Oh, very well.”  Elissa patted Cullen on the shoulder.  “I don’t mind at all, as long as you let me watch.”


End file.
